


you will be my crutch and cast

by sabinelagrande



Series: ambulance [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Stargate Atlantis, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Crossover, Depression, Drinking, Episode Related, Episode: s03e10 The Return Part 1, F/M, M/M, Multi, timelines what timelines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-22
Updated: 2012-06-22
Packaged: 2017-11-08 07:23:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/440650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabinelagrande/pseuds/sabinelagrande
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And then one day, Shep comes back, just like the proverbial cat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you will be my crutch and cast

And then one day, Shep comes back, just like the proverbial cat.

"I can't tell you what happened," Shep says, and that's big, given that Tony was an official SGC consultant. Then again, now Tony consults on something he can't tell Shep that he can't tell him about- though Fury should already know he will. "I just need a place to stay. With any luck, it won't be for long."

"You'll stay as long as you need to," Tony says. "Now, you look like a man in need of a cocktail."

Shep looks grateful, too grateful, and Tony sets to getting him absolutely drunk. He requires it.

\--

A lot has changed since John left. Some of it is superficial: Stark's up over a million twitter followers now, he's moved to New York, his chest piece has a triangle in it now. Some of it is deep: Rhodey has his own suit, Pepper and Stark are finally together.

One part of it is clear: Stark doesn't need him around anymore.

That doesn't mean Stark will let him leave.

\--

It's not like old times, not at all, but it's good enough for government work- a phrase that is becoming more and more meaningful to Tony.

Shep acts like he doesn't want to fuck, skittish, probably because of Pepper; Tony resorts to backing him up against a wall and sticking his hand down his pants.

"Just like-" Shep breaks off to gasp- "old times."

"That's the idea," Tony says, kissing him.

\--

John manages to sneak out one day, past the ever-present crowd of Stark-worshippers. Only some of them remember who John is, but word's getting around again, and it's getting to be touch and go for him to get out.

He takes a cab across the city and finds a coffee shop, somewhere where he's got much less likely to be recognized. He orders some thing that sounds like it's going to put him in a diabetic coma and sits down, sipping it slowly and trying not to burn his mouth.

Before he can even take a bite of his cookie, there's this guy standing next to him at the table. "Mister Sheppard," the guy says; he's wearing a suit and a pair of sunglasses, and John sighs.

"The IOA can kiss my ass," John says, resolutely looking away and going back to his mocha.

"I'm not from the IOA," the suit says. "I'm Agent Phil Coulson from the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division. Let's take a walk, Mister Sheppard."

John lifts his eyebrows, wondering if this is a good time to call Stark- if this isn't about the IOA, then it has to do with him, definitely. "I'd rather not."

Agent Whatever turns, looking over his shoulder and nodding; John didn't notice the two guys with him, more suits, and the two of them gently but firmly clear the coffee shop of patrons and staff within two minutes, flipping the OPEN sign to CLOSED.

"I get the feeling that S, H, I, E- that SHIELD doesn't take no for an answer," John says.

The agent slides into the seat across from him. "We're not prone to it, no."

"So, is this about me, or is this about my friend?" John asks.

"Both," the agent says. John takes another sip of his coffee, not responding. "We keep a close eye on Mister Stark at all times. And yes, he does know about it." The agent leans forward. "I need to know if Mister Stark has continuing involvement in the Stargate Program."

"Sorry," John says smoothly, like he's done dozens of times, "I don't know what Stargate is. Is that like the Tannhauser Gate?"

"I've seen things you people at the SGC wouldn't believe, Mister Sheppard," the agent says, smiling slightly. "Though I think you're the ones with the attack ships."

John grins, despite himself. "What did you say your name was, Agent?"

"Coulson," he says.

"I don't know what a Stargate is, Agent Coulson," John repeats, talking carefully around all the NDAs, just like he's been doing forever. "But I know that Stark never talks about it, not even to me. Whatever it is, he doesn't know anything about it at all. Certainly he doesn't have anything to do with- what did you call it? Stargate?"

"Well, sorry you couldn't be of help, Mister Sheppard," Coulson says, perfectly straight-faced. He gives John a card- just for the look of the thing, he suspects; he's wearing a wedding ring, which doesn't fit in with the image John has constructed for him already, the stuff he thought was obvious about the guy. "Call us if anything changes."

Coulson stands up and walks out, leaving John to his coffee. There's another guy standing outside waiting for him; he's leaning back against the window next to the door, and he pushes off as Coulson walks by, falling into step with him. He's wearing a short-sleeved button-up shirt and a pair of BDUs, both black, and all of it comes back in a rush, the days when John used to dress like that, the ridiculous things he managed to do.

He stuffs his cookie into his mouth, throws away his coffee, and leaves before anybody can come back into the store.

\--

Tony doesn't see Shep until late in the afternoon; he slides onto one of the barstools in the lounge as Tony is fixing himself a drink.

"I met this guy today," Shep says.

"You're breaking up with me?" Tony says, just to mess with him.

"I was out, and he came around asking questions about the SGC," Shep continues, and Tony gives him a wary look. "I told him you didn't have anything to do with them. Said he was from SH-"

"What was his name?" Tony asks, cutting him off.

"Agent Coulson," Shep says, and Tony drops his head back, making a frustrated noise at the ceiling.

"Please tell me you don't like him," Tony says.

"Doesn't seem like a bad guy," Shep says, in that 'I think I'm good at being casual but actually I suck at it' tone he has.

"Outnumbered," Stark says, walking away. "Outnumbered in my own house. Unbelievable."

\--

The loneliness stays with him, the feeling of loss, and it punches him when he's not expecting, in the middle of things that have nothing to do with anything, things that should be happy.

John finds himself drinking a lot, and good _God_ is he ever in the right place for it. He tries to drink until he doesn't dream of Atlantis, but it fails every time. The dreams just get more vivid, more real.

He drinks more.

\--

Shep's depressed.

Tony's bad with that.

Shep's already drinking, so Tony falls back on option two.

\--

John should have expected that Pepper Potts would be the kind of woman to schedule a three-way though email.

Granted, Stark started the thread, but still.

They do it and it is absolutely mindblowing. Before he left the last time, him and Stark, they got pretty good at the three-way thing, and Pepper's either practiced at it too or just a very gifted beginner. John's the one who lucks out, sliding in and out of Pepper as Stark fucks him, burying his face in her soft, pale neck while Stark's callused fingers dig into his hips.

John really doesn't care whose idea this was, because it was the best.

\--

The first time he tells Shep about the Initiative, Shep calls bullshit.

"You've been to other planets, and _this_ is what you find incredible?" Tony says.

"Yeah," Shep says. "Bullshit they can put a bunch of people with extraordinary abilities together and not have it turn into a complete fucking disaster. We can barely do it with people who are just really good at their jobs."

Tony just stares at him for a minute.

"I really have to introduce you to Nick Fury," Tony tells him.

\--

Agent Coulson actually calls him at one point, on the number John never gave him.

John's surprised, but not real surprised. They're at a charity ball, and they've been stopped on the red carpet; Tony's got one arm around him and one arm around Pepper, and if John sees one more flashbulb go off his eyes are going to fall out.

"It's been a year since the events in Monte Carlo," one of the reporters says, intent on being serious at a totally lighthearted event; John's really glad he missed all of that shit with Vanko. "Do you feel you need assistance in your capacity as Iron Man, now that the weaknesses of the suit have been exposed?"

"Y'know, funny you should ask," Stark drawls, and John can hear that he's pissed off, though the reporter doesn't get it. "I was just thinking about finding some Super Friends. There've got to be more superheroes, don't you think? Why, just the other day I was talking to a colleague of mine-"

The phone rings, and John steps away to answer it. "Uh, hello?"

"This is Agent Coulson," the voice on the other end says. "If you wouldn't mind advising Mister Stark that his conduct isn't appreciated, we'd be grateful."

"You want me to tell him to knock it the fuck off?" John says.

"Please," he says tightly.

John puts his hand on Stark's shoulder, pulling him over to whisper in his ear. "Coulson says knock it the fuck off."

"Sorry, folks," Stark says. "Guess you'll just have to wait and see." With that, he walks away, steering Pepper and John away.

The headlines the next morning are about their supposed love triangle; John honestly doesn't know if that's SHIELD or just the media being predictable. Either way, Coulson doesn't call back, and that's really what matters.

\--

Tony honestly wonders how Shep spent so much time working on secret government projects, because he's not one for subtlety at all.

"Hey," Shep says, while Tony is in his workshop, up to his wrists in the Mark VI. His voice is husky, and when Tony looks up, he's doing that sexy leaning thing against the work table.

Tony goes back to his work; he's just about to brush Shep off when JARVIS chimes in. "Ms. Potts," he says, as the door hisses open.

"Right on time," Tony says, not looking away from the machinery. "Pepper, baby, can you suck his dick or something? I'm busy." Tony can't actually see the two of them, but he can very clearly picture the looks they're giving each other.

He's not sure what happens, but they leave his lab, so he's happy.

\--

John's not actually sure how okay Tony is with him and Pepper doing anything together, but it just seems like John should take him at his word and take him up on his offer.

Pepper doesn't actually suck his dick, but only because she's too busy riding him like a rented mule; the spirit's way more important than the letter anyway.

\--

The sex isn't helping, not like Shep thinks it is.

There's nothing Tony hates more than letting go of a problem he hasn't solved, but it's possible he's never going to solve this one. He wishes the SGC would take his phone calls, because he'd bring down lightning if it meant that weariness that radiates off of Shep would leave.

\--

John talks to Rodney a lot, mostly over the phone, because Rodney seems to have the most boring job in the world- knowing Rodney, this means that there are only six explosions and three fights a day, instead of twelve and thirteen. He likes to listen to Rodney babble, though. It's comforting, familiar; that's all John's doing, these days, staying with what's familiar, trying to keep it together. 

He refuses to think about the day he'll have to move on, because if he thinks about it hard enough, there really won't be one.

"Hey," Rodney says, when John picks up the phone one afternoon. "Meet me in Colorado Springs."

\--

Shep's there six weeks in all, which is nothing; Tony would have let him stay six years if he needed it, but one day when Shep is in Colorado visiting people, he calls while Tony's in a meeting. Tony doesn't notice the voicemail for probably an hour after. He turns off the speaker before he listens to it, and Rhodey gives him a look- Tony's well aware that he's That Guy when it comes to the telephone.

"Uh, hey, I'm going on a day hike," Shep says, a code phrase; he sounds a little desperate, like something might be wrong. "There's a chance I won't be coming back. I might be," Tony can perfectly picture Shep's face, the way he looks when he's trying to be tactful, "leaving for an extended business trip. So I just wanted to say thanks. For everything. Bye."

Tony already knows he won't hear from Shep again, maybe ever. If Shep means to leave, if he wants to go back, he will goddamn well go.

He doesn't call back; he just sends a text:
    
    
    See you sometime.

Shep never answers.

He might be dead, but Tony doubts it; Tony knows he's happy somewhere, and that's all that counts.


End file.
